A year ago today, I was saved.
I have never been brave enough to tell the story of my salvation; I have just always stressed how life changing it was. Life saving, really.
Sometimes we find ourselves in these places in life where not so much makes sense. You can’t see how anything in front of you can be fixed and how nothing behind could ever bring good.
Why did God take my father?
Why did God not help my mom quit drinking?
Why did my house burn down?
Why did all of this happen so close together?
I asked this God guy a million questions growing up.
Faith is a funny thing for those that do not understand it. We live in a tangible world so naturally we only believe the things we see, the things we can touch, what is directly in front of us.
This very day a year ago, I sat in a valley of my life that could have very easily been detrimental to the lives of my husband, my children, and even my eternity. I sat there broken hearted because I only saw what sat in front of me that one particular day.
I didn’t understand why God had allowed all of these things to happen. The problem was, though, that I didn’t understand God.
Job chapter 37 says “listen to this, stop and consider God’s wonders. Do you know how God controls the clouds and makes his lightening flash? Do you know how the clouds hand poised, those wonders of him who has perfect knowledge?” v.14-16
The chapter goes on to say, “We cannot imagine the power of The Almighty; but even though he is just and righteous, He does not destroy us. No wonder people everywhere fear Him. All who are wise show Him reverence.” v. 23-24
There are things that we do not know. There are things we aren’t supposed to and only one thing we are.
Salvation is free. It is the one decision we can make in our lives and know the ultimate outcome.
but what about all of our other choices?
What about our Time. Mistakes. Life. Those things aren’t ours to know.
Do you think the drunk driver would have drove knowing in 30 minutes he or she would have been pulled over and taken to jail for DUI?
What about the teen mom? Would she have had unprotected sex knowing it would result in a child sophomore year?
What if i has know that on my wedding day that the picture me and my ex-husband posed for would only hold sentiment to my children one day because that marriage would fail?
I mean what if?
We know drinking and driving is illegal. We know that premarital sex sometimes causes a premarital pregnancy, and that unfortunately some marriages end in divorce. That does not mean that we believe it will happen to us.
Often we do not understand them until were standing on the peak of it’s mountain, until we’ve finally made it back to the top. Oh THIS is why I had to go through that. I get it now.
Good things come from bad times. The drunk driver was arrested this time so the next time doesn’t end in a wreck killing all of those involved. The teen mom grows up faster- learns early how to be an adult that makes decisions based on consequence- learns how to put others before herself. It makes her a stronger person, an even stronger mother. And divorce? it usually teaches man and woman how to be better spouses in their next relationship, about compromise and service.
What the devil intended for evil, God intended for good Genesis 50:20 teaches us.
Ezekiel tells a story of a man being lead through water. First to water that was ankle-deep, then knee deep, then waist deep, and finally to a river that could not be crossed alone.
“Then He asked, “Son of man, do you see this? and then he led him back to the bank of the river. When I arrived there I saw a great number of trees on each side of the river. He said to me This water flows toward the eastern regions and goes down into the Arabah, where it enters the dead sea. When it empties into the sea, the salty water there becomes fresh. Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. there will be large numbers of fish because this water flows there and makes the salty water fresh. so where the river flows everything will live. … fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. every month they will bear fruit because water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.” chapter 47
Like these waters, when Jesus melts us even in the most bitter and salty areas of our lives, we are made fresh. Sometimes it takes Him leading us into currents that we cannot conquer to trust in something greater than ourselves. It’s where the water is highest that love and comfort overflows. Every person that chooses to drown in the waters of sanctuary will live on the river of eternity.
If you every find yourself in a place like I did, just stop. Consider Gods wonders, the scripture says. Let the water rush over you, correct you, cleanse you, and know that no, you just don’t know and find rest in the fact that you don’t have to. Be thankful that even when you can’t see through the clouds there is a perfector, the Almighty, piecing together a promise, a rainbow, on the other side of your storm, on the top of your mountain.
Had I given up on my mountain, I would have missed out on the view at the top. Looking back over the last year, it has certainly been one of the hardest climbs of my life. It has also been one of the best. There has been nothing greater than the cleansing correction of my Father and the promise that came when I did not die with this world, but only died to myself.
My pastor said it best last night when he said in this life God doesn’t want our success, He only wants our surrender. Had my life gone just as I had planned, I may not have ever known a life on the other side. I would have lived in the sun and never known how free it felt to dance in the rain.
Let us all see that this world operates with remarkable order and wisdom. If He has planned the perfect path of every cloud, He has also prepared the perfect one for you. Just because we are not in the perfect place does not mean we are not in the middle of a perfect plan. Wade the waters and simply trust God, and when they get too deep, know that our God walks on water and He has the entire world in the palm of His hands. He does all these other things marvelously well and know that you, too- this, too, is already worked out ahead of time- all according to perfect time and order.
I do not always understand, and the things that I feel I do, I do not always like. Sometimes the water feels too deep and this life, too much, but i know that in this life my tears are counted and so are the hairs of my head. For every one detail I can see ahead of me, there are infinite reasons there that I cannot. I’ll never ask again that you take anything from me, instead please give me the faith to know it is good, strength to climb over it, and wisdom to learn the lessons on my way up. Thank you God for these opportunities. Thank you, God, for You. -Amen
Hugs sweet friends,