Philippians 4:14-23- It Might Not Be Worth It

I’m currently reading this book Everybody Always. It’s a book about learning to love difficult people. I wish I could say I’m learning a lot, but to be honest, it’s only reverberating everything the Lord has already revealed to me over the last few weeks just with less scripture and more words.

If I’ve never taught you anything else.. listen to this because this is certifiably true.

When God wants you to learn something- He is absolutely going to make it His business to show you. This is both cool and frustrating because there’s no fooling God- in case you didn’t know.

I bet I’ve told Jesus a million times, maybe two million, okay God I’ve got it.

I understand that whatever I lay down at Your feet, I should leave there.

Gosh God, I know you know better than I do so I’m just going to let you fix this.

Could you please move on, Lord, I get it. I promise that I am going to do my best to just let it all go because you are sovereign.

….. just in case you needed a few examples….

And you know what? No matter how many times I’ve told Him these things… until I truly move on from one “I’ve got it” He is going to pull me back. Because He loves me.

I’ve started asking myself.. is your pride really worth having to learn this over and over? I’m getting better at reminding myself that it is not.

“What we’ve spent our time collecting might not be worth it.” That’s the title of tonight’s chapter.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve collected things. Conversations, behaviors, personalities. Some people would call these memories but I pocketed them differently.

When I heard women talk about someone and then turn to the subject of that conversation with the biggest, most friendly smile… I pocketed that.

When I had an argument with my significant other over something he did wrong, I pocketed that.

And when I did something I shouldn’t have, I pocketed that too.

Here’s the scripture: Philippians 4:14-23

“And my God will supply ever need according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

Only a few weeks back a good friend of mine was sharing some of her heart with me, and to illustrate what she was trying to get across she said, “and I used you as an example, all of your every day people will only see you for what they think you did. They will never know who you really are because their minds are already made up.”

She was right- She still is.

People pocket the things they’ve heard; they pocket the past. People form opinions and they pocket those too and that’s it.

And what do I do? I pocket my opinions and then carry theirs too because now I’ve got something to prove.

We see another woman in swim suit and she’s got it together (you know abs- together- because none of mine touch)- y’all, she’s busting her tail- and we pocket that, not to compliment her on her hard work- to tell her how great she looks but to resent her for the time she sets aside because “we don’t have time, we’re too busy” or to have something to compare ourselves to right before we slip into the shower.

You’ve had an awful day at work and you’ve pocketed all those feelings because you can’t spill them out there… and when you get home your kids are fighting over a bag of cheeto puffs and the entire bag splits open onto your fresh swept white tile. Not only do you have to pocket those puffs into a new sack (because who wastes Cheetos) that one mess is what splits the seam and your entire day pours out onto your kids or maybe your husband.

Anybody else as guilty as me?

“What we’ve spent our time collecting might not be worth it.”

Now this guy in the book was talking about hoarding arcade tickets for the purpose of illustration and Paul is talking about the way his ministry was financially supplied and how God will also supply our every need too but guys, I’m talking about life.

We cannot call ourselves Christians by way of forgiveness through Jesus Christ all the while stuffing our pockets with everyone else’s shortcomings to pull out for comparison when you’re feeling bad about your own.

We cannot call ourselves loved and God honoring when we use another woman’s success to discount our own. I promise Jesus didn’t just bless her with abs; with the right work you could have some too.

And you absolutely cannot claim redemption over your life if you’re living in yesterday while God is pushing you to tomorrow.

Growth and comfortability cannot co-exist.

You don’t need your past and you don’t need hers (or mine either for what it’s worth)

God offers you so much more. All that stuff we’re holding on to, because who knows when you might need the ammunition to blast that girl that stole your third grade boyfriend (because I haven’t forgotten), and it’s just weighing us down. Internalizing these things are crowding your heart, leaving no room for what God wants to supply you with.

You think that size two girl is out to get you? She’s not. Compliment her.

You think that other girl is a straight up mess? Okay, maybe. Pray for her.

Your kids throw Cheetos on your clean floor? You just got y’all a picnic without all that extra work. The floor is clean, sit down with them, laugh, and turn your day around.

God grants us forgiveness and gives us the ability to forgive (Colossians 3:13), shares with us an unconditional love with the expectation that we also distribute that (John 13:34), and anything else we could ever ask for so long as it aligns with His will and His way. (Matthew 21:22)

We need nothing else- the things you’ve been saving are a waste of space.

He will supply our every need.

Pocket that. He will not move on until you do because He loves you too.

And so do I,

Philippians 4:11-13: You can’t wash out Regret

I sat in the passenger seat of my husband’s truck and just cried as he and I talked the other day.

I revealed to him that I had let my heart get twisted up and sideways- like he didn’t already know I had let my priorities slip- and just how disappointed I was.. in me.

Work has been busy, summer has had me tired, and I have been absent. Absent like not on vacation.. just skating around the house doing what “needed” to be done with little investment elsewhere.

I read once that if Satan can’t beat you, he will at least try and keep you busy.

And he did… keep me busy…

Do you know what I get asked probably more than anything by my followers?

How do find time to study the Bible?”

Let me tell you something. The Bible is food, y’all. A relationship and bedtime prayer is not good enough for Jesus. Even if you spend everyday, every thought, with the idea of Jesus… if you’re not spending time with Him in His word.. you’re going to be hungry. Hangry even, I know that’s a thing now and probably more appropriate to what I’m trying to illustrate.

This hunger is not that belly burning rumble, it’s subtle… until it’s poked. You don’t realize (I don’t guess you do, I didn’t) until it’s there.. that one thing that caused you to respond in a way you normally wouldn’t.

Hangry. Like devouring an entire deep dish pizza and then having to sit in that.. it’s misery. Tasted good at the time though didn’t it?

What about that argument with your husband about not taking out the trash?.. felt right didn’t it? Justified. He deserved it. Until he told you how awful his day was.. and then misery- you’re sitting in it.

What about fussing at your kids for ruining your new towels. I mean they should not even been messing with the laundry, they don’t do anything else? And then they say, “Mama, I’m sorry I messed this up- but I just knew you’ve been really tired and we just wanted to help you Mama.” Misery.

**Disclaimer: these examples are not based on real life events but provided for illustration as an opportunity to learn**

Subtle.. until poked, eliciting a greater than normal- or totally different than normal- response.

The Bible is food, and y’all were hungry. I mean I don’t know about you but I make time for lunch every day. Sometimes twice.

It takes less than five minutes to have a change in circumstance; less than that to have a change in your feelings.

Anybody else have that one child that can poke you faster than any of the others or is that just me?

…and we have to be ready for that.

When you leave for a four hour trip in the car with 3 under the age of 4- you get ready. You go potty and pack a snack or there will be at least one explosion.

….and you really think that a wet car seat makes for a bad day… until you have a wet face because you weren’t prepared.

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound.  in any and every circumstance, I have learned that secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13

learned: having much knowledge acquired by study.

whatever: used to emphasize a lack of restriction in referring to anything,  no matter what

content: in a state of peace.

We will have good days, the best days… we will also have bad ones, the ones that feel like the worse… and the secret to survival that doesn’t lead to heartache and regret is the same… Jesus.

The way you feel on a day-to-day basis can change in a moment, several times a day if you’re like me… Situations.. circumstances… people… problems… changing.. all the time. Do not let your day dictate your demeanor and don’t let a temporary circumstance compromise your character.

I have.

I let my heart get twisted around because I let the life I have been given supersede what gives me life. I didn’t regularly feed my appetite for our Lord because I was too busy… or too tired… and because of that, what I have learned in all my studying became rusty, I said things I shouldn’t have even though I know that no matter what I am called to a different response, and because of those things… my soul was stirred and my peace robbed.

Satan stole my time, crippled my character, and destroyed my peace. (John 10:10)

Busy is what he does; it’s what he waits on; this is what he plans. (Luke 4:13)

Satan cannot defeat you, but he can disarm you.

You will absolutely be tested (1st Peter 4:12), but Jesus will not test you beyond what you can bear, and for every chance Satan tempts you, Jesus also gives you an opportunity of escape. (1st Corinthians 10:13)

but it’s our choice.

It’s not that difficult to clean up a soiled carseat… but regret? that’s hard to wash out.

Obedience is our job; outcome is His

God rewards those faithful to Him, and He only wants what’s best for us. Not what feels best. Even if it hurts, we have not missed God’s protection over our lives. He has a much greater purpose than helping us avoid pain- it’s to make us better servants for Him. God guides us through circumstances- not helps us escape them.

Make the time before you make the mistake.

Hugs,

Gold or Gold-Plated: Why a Christian’s Sin is Different

I’ve told this story before.

When my husband got down on one knee, he proposed with a pony tail holder.

We were tied up in buying a house, planning ahead for marriage, and he surprised me one night after I got off from work. Opening the door, I found him knelt down in the dark entrance of his rental house on one knee.  He told me he couldn’t wait anymore to protect something that was his. H said he knew that ‘this’ wasn’t much, but he promised to give me so much more for the rest of our lives.

That ponytail holder still sits tight in it’s box, and while it seems like little to most, I’ll treasure it forever.

Not long after that night, He and I ran off to Memphis one Tuesday night, signed our marriage licenses in front of a stranger at Starbucks, and then followed her to the Museum steps in downtown Memphis where he and I would follow up our signatures in words; promises to each other forever.

Our Pentecostal preacher spat 1 Corinthians 13 faster than anything I’d ever heard. She told my now husband to kiss his bride, but don’t stay long because it wasn’t safe, and she grabbed her bible and left. Laughing to tears, we followed after her. got in our car, and back to our small town we went with a new promise to the same old place.

My ponytail wasn’t fit for everyday wear; three loops was not tight enough and if I had worn four, I might be missing my ring finger. Proud of the promise Neal and I had made, I needed something to attest to it. Still tied up in paperwork, a nice size 5.5 gold band from Claires had more diameter than it did price, another circle that I will always treasure.

With every passing day after the first, my makeshift wedding band wore more and more until eventually all of its “gold plated” had turned just plated, and with that turned my finger.

I wore a new ring after that, a green one. I wore it with pride. Some of you may not realize that you too, are wearing a ring much like the one I carried on my finger for some time.

You see, my second circle, the first ring, faded because it was fake and with time… anything else that isn’t real will eventually erode also. Then what?

So many times I have said that the way that we live our everyday lives is our greatest and most powerful ministry.

People watch people.

We truly, truly need to take that to heart; over and over I’ve replayed the scriptures in my head…

“But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.” 1 Corinthians 8:9

“therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this — not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in another brothers way.” Romans 14:13

“And it will be said, ‘build up build up, prepare the way, remove any stumbling block out of the way of my people'” Isaiah 57:14

“But he turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but of man’s'” Matthew 23:13

I’ve had my relationship with Jesus questioned lately, and that’s just not something I want to be responsible for…you know, being someone’s stumbling block.

How we live as Christians can greatly impact the lives of others, those that know God and those who don’t.

Sometimes an image is hard to uphold; certainly one that is only gold-plated- full of some other dull metal on the inside. Like any imitation metal eventually wears to it’s true foundation, so does any imitation Christian.

Satan knows no boundries and self? It only knows sin. Everybody’s self. Yours and mine alike.

So how are we supposed to know what is real and what is not?

Paul said it best in Romans chapter 7.

“For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, But I do the very thing I hate.  Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.  So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep doing.” v.14-19

read that again… slow.  I’ll translate.

I know what is right is good by God, But I am human, a slave to sin. I don’t understand myself sometimes. I don’t always do the things that I should, even though I want to, and instead, I end up doing the very things I am against.. things I hate because God hates. Now even though I do bad things, things I don’t mean to, I still believe that what God wants is good and right.  So now, its not me doing all these wrong things, but the sin in me. Nothing good comes from self, you know, my flesh; for I, so bad, want to do what is right but can’t seem to always get myself there. I don’t do everything right like I want, but the bad things, I so very hard try to avoid, I sometimes do anyway.

Anybody else relate?

This chapter goes on to say is verse 21 that you can count on it, any time you want to do right, evil will always be close by.

Can I just say Thank God for God?

Even as Christians we try to uphold this standard.. a super one. I swear God laughs at us all the time because for whatever reason we think we’re invincible and are surprised when we don’t ‘get it all right’ when the very religion we devote our lives to, literally lay down our lives for, is built around the one perfect human… you know.. not you.

or me.

Every sin is sin. It’s all offensive. It’s all bad; the Christians sin; the sinner’s sin. all of it. bad. but sin is different. Not ‘good’ sin and not-good sin.. just different sin.

There is sin and conviction and there is sin and condemnation and while it may be the very same sin… it effectuates very different endings.

conviction: “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free, free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” Romans 8: 1,2

condemnation: “there is a way that seems right to man, but it’s end is the way to death.” proverbs 14:12

Romans 3 says ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but 1st John 5:17 says that though “all wrongdoing is sin, there is sin that does not lead to death.” If there is sin that does NOT lead to death, wouldn’t is also be right to know that there is sin that does?

A life lived under the rule of Christ doesn’t give anybody the authority to live as ones flesh would desire, but the freedom to make mistakes with consequence of conviction without the permanence of condemnation. So while all sin is sin, only unrepentant sin leads to death.

And while Jesus knows all well that you and I are not perfect, He expects us to know perfect and feel the weight of those things not perfect in ourselves as they become present in our lives… and then he says “Go, and sin no more.”

So learn. Learn that the most christian Christian you look up to, or even you, yourself, are still and only always human; and know also, that if you’ve committed your life to a image of impersonation instead of to The Life of our ‘I AM’ you are only under cover as long as you are under sky.

There will be people to criticize your faith, others that character play theirs lives but know that even Jesus had people talk about Him. The Jesus that lived a completely perfect life.

“and there was much muttering about Jesus among the people.  While some said, “he is a good man,” others said, “No, he is leading people astray.” John 7: 11.12

and at a distances glance, you cannot tell the real from the plated. Some will say good things and some will say bad things. Others will say what everybody else is saying, just to have something to say…

Sometimes, most times, it comes down to you and Jesus. Only the two of you know who you are; what sin you carry..

and while I adore the diamond studded band that now wraps around my left forth finger, I will never forget what the first two taught me: too tight or too loose does not make a good fit, and trying to pretend what looks good on the outside is just as good… isn’t. There’s only one true fit and that fit is imperfection guided by divine intervention because only Christ Jesus himself can decide which golds purify and which ones perish.

Philippians 4: 8-9: “Don’t start it, but Finish it”

When my dad was still living, he told me… Katie never throw the first punch, but if someone comes at you… you finish it. Don’t let anyone ever push you around. You won’t be in trouble, I promise.

I grew up with this mindset.

Katie, no one else is going to take care of you so you take care of you. Sad enough, it was true and when someone pushed me, well… i pushed back. I was respectful as long as I was respected… and when I wasn’t… I wasn’t.

So…

Last week, I watched my kids fight over two legos and a plastic kitten. Two legos and a plastic kitten.

Probably not a big ordeal, right? But in that moment… it was to them.

It began with my daughter scooting, with her kitten, closer and closer to Haisten. With absolutely no interest in legos at all, she waited until he sat down one lego on top of the other and she snatched them. He pushed her; she pushed him back, and he ran to me crying while she paraded around the kitchen with two legos, a plastic kitten, and her own rendition of a victory song and a complimentary smile.

Haisten, you shouldn’t have pushed your sister.

“But mama, she took my legos.”

Gracie you shouldn’t have took your brothers legos and you shouldn’t have hit him either.

“Mama you saw him hit me first. I hit him back; I didn’t hit him; i just hit him back. and mama, he is bigger so he knows better mama and I don’t”

In that moment, my heart sank. Don’t our children teach us so much about life?

God uses the smallest, most ordinary things to send great messages.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put into practice.   And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9

I’ve shared with you guys how selfish I was before I came to know, really know, Jesus.

I guess I would have made daddy proud because I certainly didn’t let anyone run over me.

Katie took care of Katie because Katie felt like she always had to.

I knew nothing of a gentle spirit; some days it brings me to tears because I still don’t.

For so long, I’ve had that ‘don’t start it but finish it’ attitude and despite how hard I’ve tried to suppress that old piece of me… at the most inconvenient of times, it will bubble up and out before I’ve reconciled my heart to what it most important.

There has to be a time in your life as a faithful follower of Jesus that you quit standing up for yourself and start standing down for Jesus.

The Bible doesn’t say if they break your leg; break their neck. It says turn the other cheek. See Matthew 5:39

The Bible doesn’t say that if a person fights you, fight back. It says that in this world we do not battle things of the flesh and people but are engaged in spiritual warfare and that war isn’t won with army artillery; it’s won with spiritual armor. See Ephesians 6:12

The Bible doesn’t say if someone hurts your feelings with words, hurt them back. It says that so long as it depends on you, live peaceably with everybody for vengeance is for the Lord. See Romans 12:17-19

The Bible doesn’t even say that once you are saved you are safe from all of these things, but it does say that we should suffer for what is right even at our own expense. See Hebrews 11:25-26

I’m not sure which hurts worse, the punch to our person or the punch to our pride.

My dad promised that I wouldn’t be in trouble if I didn’t start it, but my Father says different.

Two wrongs do not make a right: “Make sure that nobody pay back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and everyone else.” 1st Thessalonian 5:15

We all have “those” days and “those” people that sometimes make it hard to be kingdom focused and character conscious.

In this scripture Paul says if there is ANY thing that is praise worthy, think about that… and do good things, right things.

Isn’t it so easy to be obedient in life when it aligns with something we want to do?

When I felt called to a new career, I was excited for what the Lord was doing, and with nervous obedience I jumped into that calling and gosh it has poured blessings on myself and my family.

Obedience pours blessings. Always.

But starting my day with a slap across my right cheek, and Jesus giving the instruction to just smile humbly and instead of giving someone a piece of my mind, just give them a piece of my other cheek instead..

where’s the blessing in that? Blessed that the Lord said don’t worry about applying my blush that day?

I mean maybe but humility keeps us obedient, and obedience always gives us greater access to the promise.

Paul said think about that one thing and the peace of God be with you. It will be hard sometimes, and while Satan will pour all of those should have said/ could have dones on you, as believers we’ve got to learn to stand down.

“If anyone chooses to follow me, he must deny himself daily, take up his cross, and follow me.” Luke 9:23

In my studying scripture I came across some biblical commentary that quoted it like this:

“obedience is your job; outcome is His.”

Wow, right?

Whatever our circumstance, God is either doing it or He is allowing it to happen.

And the outcome to either is His.

Satan lets us believe that we have a say in how things end for us, like our lives and decisions are not already known and knitted. If we said this or acted like that then difficult people and difficult things will automatically come to their senses and the situation just dissolves allll because you did (insert here).

Hind sight is 20/20 but in that moment we are justifiably sure that what we do matters.

I wonder if God sits up there in the clouds and laughs at us?

You know… When we think we know better than God or can better control and manipulate a situation better than God. God Almighty, the One that sets the sun and moves mountains? yeah. okay.

Sometimes we get so caught up in how a certain place in our lives feels that we completely forget about God’s promises in those places and that is what Paul is urging us to remember here.

God is faithful and God will do whatever it takes to keep His promise to those that are faithful to Him.

“A faithful man will abound in blessings” Proverbs 28:20

“And his master replied Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share in your Master’s happiness” Matthew 25:21

“Be faithful until death and I will give you the crown of life.” Revelation 2:10

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.” 2 Thessalonians 3:3

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is GOD; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep in His commandments” Deuteronomy 7:9

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” Hebrews 10: 35-36

The way you live your life is the greatest ministry you can provide to a public people and may be the only way a lost soul comes to know Jesus. As Christians we must carry this  duty heavily on our shoulders and with a sincere urgency.

Our human-ness fails our faith sometimes. We are and never will be, by no standard, perfect; however, it is indispensably important that we will ourselves to mirror ourselves in the image of Christ as close as humanly possible.

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.  And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Collosians 3:15-17

Never let a momentary dispute place you in a permanent disposition.

Nasty people and bad times are temporary and so are hurt feelings.

set aside the difference for the destiny.

Biggest Hugs,

img_0999-2

 

 

Philippians 4:1-7; Trial: Safety or Sorrow

My pastor asked our small group yesterday what the  verse in James meant in chapter 1:

Count it all joy, when you experience trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

How do you count the joy in trial?

It was here, in this book of the Bible, on these pages, that my faith took off.

I met Jesus. Just recalling that feeling brings me to tears. I had fallen to my knees and right there, in those moments, the floor was the most comfortable place I had ever known.

But I’ll tell you lately, that same “on the floor” feeling hasn’t felt as safe. It’s felt more like sorrow.

but joy?

PHILIPPIANS 4:1-7 focusing on 4:4-7

“Rejoice in the Lord always again, I will say rejoice.  Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God And the peace of God which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in CHRIST JESUS.”

Just wow.

We want to, I have, asked questions like:

What about tomorrow? What happens next? Is this ever going to be okay? Am I?

and Paul says y’all look- rejoice, literally celebrate Jesus. Always; Constantly. No matter what show Christ’s gentleness, because He lives with you in you. Forget about it; quit worrying about all of it. Go to God, lay it down. Be filled with gratitude, and give Him your deepest desires and God will give you a peace so great that you will not even have to ask “what about” or “am I” because Jesus. He is going to protect your heart from breaks and your mind from lies. He is God. Rejoice.

Count it all joy, when you face many trials. but why?

Romans 5 says we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope.

My experience with the ‘church Jesus’ is being saved meant being safe.

Safe- uninjured; with no harm done.

Uninjured- not harmed or damaged

Harm- injury, especially that which is deliberately inflicted

Already, after only a year and a half of salvation, I have been injured many times, injuries that have done some damage, damage that was absolutely meant for me.

From God.

“I am the true vine, and my father is the vine dresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” John 15:1-2

Have you ever pruned a rose bush? You cut off beautiful growth. Flowers that you worked so hard to develop, and they just fall to the ground. Almost just wasted.

Then with time… after those cuts, they grow back- better; more.

God has allowed me to hurt, not to hurt me, but to grow me better; to make me more.

God has allowed you to hurt to grow you better; to make you more.

We act like fools and we’re cut off; we act like not-fools and we’re cut on.

God wants the absolute best for us. He wants to help, and sometimes His help is hard because He is trying to produce things from us that are not innately in us: things like forgiveness in the presence of unforgiveness; like patience in the company of bitterness; like love assembled so close to resentment. Things we aren’t naturally compelled to invoke on ourselves to give. Things, hard things, of God but not of man.

It’s in these times we find ourselves doubting God because we are taught that God is a God of comfort. and He is. God is so comfortable… even in the uncomfortable, especially in the uncomfortable… and the cultured church leaves that part out.

If we only loved God when God was good,  we would not be serving God, we would be using Him.

John chapter 9 tells a story about a blind man. The disciples wanted to know who had done wrong, him or his parents, that he was born blind….. and Jesus tells them they have it all wrong. Neither of them had to do anything wrong, but he is blind so that the works of God can be glorified. After this, He spit on the ground, made mud, and restored the mans vision and the Glory of God and His power was displayed.

For a while, this was hard for me; some days it still is, but we live in a fallen world where good behavior is not always rewarded and bad behavior is not always punished.

Bad people will get good things. Good people will get good things.

Fair enough.. but then…

Bad people will suffer and so will good people.

God, lately, has taught me to stop believing in coincidences. When I’ve popped my mouth off to the very people I’ve willed my heart to be good to no matter what, it is no “coincidence” that I conveniently open my bible to Romans 12 for a bible study. That would be Jesus shaking His fingers at me. God is power and God is control- over the big details and over the little ones and it’s in our best interest to pay attention to both. Rejoicing hurts sometimes, but there is a mystery surprise, a blessing that brings even more healing, underneath the spit and the mud. Always. Every bad thing, God intended for good.

Something bad surfaces and we automatically feel like we need to do something, and we’re missing the point. Again: trial… endurance.. endurance… character… character… hope… God wants us to be still. I know its lost on us sometimes, but God doesn’t need our help running the world, all He has asked of us is that we deny ourselves and follow Him. Follow: to come after; move or travel behind. To your best ability, fashion yourself in the way God would have you conduct yourselves, keep your hands still, your mouth shut, and wait it out righteously. Learn to take these muddy opportunities to say, “God thank you for who you are- God thank you for an opportunity to trust you even more. Open my eyes with the mud of this mess, and let me receive your message and it’s blessing- Amen”

Let the suffering do it’s work. Learn to endure through your “whatever” so that it may grow your character because a Godly character is a character that is certain of nothing but comfortable in anything.

Jesus said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the son of God may be glorified through it.” John 11:4

Not death, but Glory.

My eternal life was saved because of trial. There was a time when I was insufficiently sure of my salvation. I sat on Sunday’s pew, said my prayers, and did my daily devotions. There were days that scripture touched me. I’d be moved, then I’d move on. It took my sin breaking my heart; Jesus taking me down to bones to rebuild my life. I wasn’t emotionally moved; I was eternally changed.

It is hard to really appreciate the light, until it shows up in complete darkness.

I pray that if you’re in the middle of something that feels unfair, you will show gentleness anyway; If you’re in the middle of something painful, you can be thankful anyway; and if you’re in the middle of something dark, you will find enough reason to be the light.

God is there, in whatever, He is present. Remind yourself that God is faithful to those that are faithful to Him. A promise was made over 2000 years ago that He would never leave you, He would never forsake you.”

Rejoice.

I’m anxious about nothing, because God has everything.

“Katie, What do you think it means to count it all joy?”

I count a piece of joy for knowing that my failures are not my fate.

I count a piece of joy for knowing that hurt feelings do not hurt forever.

I count a piece of joy for a Father that loves me enough to correct my conduct, even if it compromises my comfort.

I count a piece of joy for a dying resentment in me, even if there is never a happy-ending resolution for me.

I count a piece of joy for the victory that will be won when every ounce of my troubles, your hurts, and this world’s destruction falls to ashes and Light reigns forever and ever.

Amen.

Missed y’all,

When we feel vindicated in our actions and lost in our prayers

God never fails to provide me an opportunity to learn, even in the mundane.

Today, like any other day, my kids and I got home and the first thing they want is something to drink immediately followed by snack. My youngest will ask for a brownie every single time (literally every time, y’all), and every time I tell her the same thing.

“Not a brownie until after supper, Gracie; what else do you want?”

She knows  that brownie is waiting for her behind those big sliding barn doors in our kitchen; she also knows she is not getting it right then, but she has to try it anyway.

Do you every find yourself repetitively  asking God for the same things over and over? Mayyybbee not the same things, but You know, the ‘something’s gotta give’ type things, the ‘aren’t you God, don’t you know I need this’ kind of things.

I’ve given Jesus a lot of tears, y’all. Tears shed for much the same purpose or principle.

over. and. over.

You see, I know God. I know that He is true to His promises; and I know that His promises are reserved for those who earnestly seek Him.

This means I know that my brownie is back there somewhere. Somewhere, behind this door or that one, awaits my deliverance, my promise from God as one of His children and even though I know I will not have it until it is the right time, until God is ready to give it to me, I’m going to ask anyway. Like that little blonde beauty seeking what appeals her senses, I too, am seeking what I believe will fill my soul.

and here I am rolling my eyes at my daughter; It’s  like an ‘I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I’ type things. I just had to smile to myself today when she said “but mamaaaaa, when” because God whispered me a spiritual nah-nah-na-boo-boo in my ear.

Let me pause to tell you this spiritual stirring occurred Tuesday of this week… I knew then that there was more so I jotted what’s above down and I’ve been just waiting for the rest.

Not exactly where I thought He was taking it but nonetheless here it is:

what I believe will fill me.

Raise your hand if you already know what’s wrong! (Eye roll here)

This morning my husband and I were laying in bed discussing (him listening to me discuss with me) an ongoing situation that has been just building building building problem- you know- those things that won’t go away. He smiles and tells me it’s going to be okay, and I leave the house thinking HA! Dang right it is. Because we’re gonna… And Facebook tells me I’ve got some memories today.

Oooohhh do I.

March 1st of last year, Jesus was revealing to me that I didn’t have to be anybody but His. The rest didn’t matter. The past didn’t matter. What people thought didn’t matter. He had a promise for me and it is good. Just follow me.

In this passage, God has changed Jacobs name from he grabs his heel to Israel, and honorable name and man of God.

Jesus had changed my name too.

Fast forward to March this year, a year later, and He has shown me something entirely different on these very same pages. Look up to the top left corner to the text that is half cut out.

“The safest place is God’s will”

In the story of Rachel and Leah, when Rachel finally got what she had been asking for, she found nothing but sorrow.

She and her sister Leah were in a constant competition- so much that Rachel named her last son Ben-On meaning son of trouble.

Do you ever feel like you are in a constant battle with something? With someone?

Do you pray over and over for something particular and just silence?

You are fighting… against God and with Satan.

No matter the circumstance, the safest place to be is still in the center of Gods will. If it’s not His character, it’s also not His plan.

In this story, these sisters were offering their servants to Jacob in a contest to who could have the most babies. They were trying to beat God to the blessings and Jacob, well he just did what he was told.

Poor Jacob, even though that was a custom for that time does not make it right. Even if some things are socially acceptable in our time… doesn’t mean it’s right.

Then those girls. They just couldn’t wait. Trusting God when nothing seems to be happening is so hard isn’t it? Not as difficult as some of the consequences we create for ourselves trying to rush it all.

God has a plan. And God is God. Our disobedience will never derail His plan for our lives, but it can greatly affect how we end up experiencing it.

When you just feel like you need something right now, you can’t wait- that’s Satan. Would God rush it?

When you know you can tell that person just how you feel because they sure didn’t mind telling you- that’s Satan. Would Jesus be ugly?

When someone else has made you feel less than, made you feel hurt, made you feel well just flat out mad- and you just need to tell them how wrong they are.. you know, pick up and throw some stones of your own- that’s Satan. Would Jesus bring up all of our wrongs to hurt our feelings?

When you feel.

What I felt.

Y’all, your feelings will never give you full and accurate information. There’s always more to the story than how it made you feel.

It’s Satan. Anything not of the character of God is a characteristic of Satan. period.

And anything you feel outside of what scripture says is acceptable.. that’s Satan too.

I’ll say it again- anything that is outside of Gods character is also outside his plan…

What’s that mean? For me it meant girl just Hush and wait.

Patience is the hardest to have when you need it the most.

Always, always resist the temptation to think that God has forgotten about you.

“The lord is on my side; I will not fear for what can man do to me?” Psalm 118:6

“Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by test you may discern what is the will of God: what is true, honorable, and right” Romans 12:2

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you” Exodus 14:13

“You are my portion, Lord; I have promised to obey your words.” Psalms 119:57

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” Hebrews 10:23

We are not here to point fingers, we are not here to point fingers back. We weren’t placed here to be wonderful wives or bad ones; good mothers or bad ones, to be successful or not, to have nice homes or not, or perfect jobs or not.

We were created for two things- to ask God for forgiveness and spend the rest of our lives listening to Him.

It’s the little things- the things we think we can do on our own strength- that get us down- not the big things we know only God can do.

He’s in control of the brownie y’all- not us.

Be still in your feelings, be confident in your prayers. Despair will cast you down, keeping you from standing. Fear will tell you to retreat, and impatience will tell you to do something now.

We don’t have to be anything but His, and He grows the rest. In his time you are the good wife. In his time you are the good mother. In his time you have the perfect job. In His time you have your cozy home. I know this because God makes no mistake and if we wait for His time and His plan it’s the absolute perfect plan because he’s given us the perfect Son delivering to us a flawless promise.

Be two things- sorry and saved- then let God be God because well it’s right there.

“Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises so that through them you may participate in the divine nature having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires” 2 Peter 1:4

He has given us a promise so that we can act right and escape this awful place causing us to feel awful things.

Father,

We know you have planned all things, the best possible things for us, God. Let us know that you are with us, even on the days that it feels like you’re not. We are not forgotten and we are heard. Give us the strength God to wait on your time in a way that represents your nature, Father, and the patience to fight our feelings and that need of a surface response to protect them and instead produce an internal sense of security from the promise you’ve given that says it’s already taken care of. Let us let you be You God.

Amen

Why Does This Keep Happening? The Answer.

“I do not understand. Why are things still just the way they have been? Why do we have to do this over and over?”

I know I have asked myself these same two questions an infinate amount of times. Even with the answers before me, I will likely ask them again.

I have to believe that I am not the only one that fights these same said battles over and over. Things you’ve dealt with, prayed over, laid at the feet of Jesus, forgiven, and even prayed over again that just keep. coming. back. up.

Psalm chapter 12:

“save, oh lord, for the godly one is gone, for the faithful have vanished from among the children of man. Everyone utters lies to his neighbor, with flattering lips, and a double heart they speak……. because the poor are plundered, because the needy cry, I will now arise, says the Lord.  I will place him in the safety for which he longs.  The words of the lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times. You, O lord will keep them; you will guard us from this generation forever.  On every side the wicked prowl, as vileness is exalted among the children of man.

If I were to ask you who is the single most ruler of this world you would say?

Growing up in the bible belt, most all of us would presume the answer is Jesus, but that is not so.

The Godly one is gone; Jesus has left this Earth, and the faithful have vanished from the children of man. Man is Adam and Adam equates sin to which we are all born unto. Satan is the ruler of Earth. He even tempts Jesus in Matthew 4- Jesus come on over here, you see all of this on top of this mountain. I will give all of this to you if only you will bow and worship me.

David goes on to describe this people, those that only say what people want to hear. Even in the church, or maybe especially, there are those who always have just the right answer for any occasion but speak with no truth or transparency of heart- a double heart at that. Two hearts; one for Sundays and another for all the other days of the week.

And so what’s wrong with these people? These recurring things in our lives that show up time after time after time?

2 Corinthians 4:4 says it perfectly. “In their case the god of this world (satan) has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ who is the image of God.

The scripture in this psalm lays it out, but maybe you just need some help dissecting it to fully understand its principality.

“On every side the wicked prowl, as vileness is exalted amongst the children of man.”

On every side– completely surrounding not only every circumstance but also every corner.

vileness– nasty, offensive, awful, and unsavory

exalted-  placed at a high or powerful level.

Yall, even as Godly people, we must never forget we live in an evil world. A world that exalts or gives power to all of these awful, potentially destructive, things. We, even believers, make the mistake of subconsciously giving such things POWER over our lives.

We have, maybe not as Christians but as a people, have a created a world that seeks pleasure in sinful entertainment that we find so enticing… until it directly affects our own personal lives.

sex. gossip. addiction. infidelity. betrayal. fatality. tragedy.

These are all topics that we enjoy sharing with our friends or find even sanctifying to be the first one to “get the news” and why Y’all? for what? I don’t know when we saw fit to enjoy in the failure of someone else, to make of a catastrophe some type of commodity in the midst of some of the most vulnerable and unavoidably transparent aspects of peoples lives.

but we have.

it is absolutely imperative that we realized that even though our spirits are safe in heaven, our very alive bodies are here. in this place. that has made these things acceptable.

wicked reigns, guys. Here evil, reigns.

All of these little tests. The walls that you run into over and over, that’s not God y’all. That’s Satan. God desires nothing but the best for His people.

Colossians 1 verse 13 says that God has rescued us from the darkness of this world and has assigned us a seat in heaven.

Praise Jesus, We have saved seats, but y’all not until we get there.

It says that His word is pure- refined, grounded. that means that it has been tested, studied, criticized. it is without impurity or flaw even after it has been sifted through and it remains standing.

yet we give evil the authority over our lives?

sounds crazy doesnt it?

Even to choose exalt Christ in our lives, does not mean the elimination of evil.

Even with a word precious and pure, people will still prefer those same things that will bury them.

but God says that because, indicating when, those are plundered, when the needy cry Then I will rise.

plundered. laid flat and bare. needy. crying. and I’m coming.

It wasn’t until I suffered without Christ, that I realized just how much joy there was to suffering with Him.

The next time you want to question the reappearing wall in front of you, ask yourself which god would set it before you- the one of this world, or The One.

You see, Satan may in fact rule this world, as the scripture says, but Jesus… He won it.

God, as much as I would like my actions to matter, on the days that I am full of doubt, I’m so glad they don’t. Thank you for an unfailing victory over all evil, even my own. Thank you, God, for you.

Amen.

And walk.

A friend of mine brought up a woman’s name in causal conversation several weeks ago.  “I think you know her,” she said, “well I KNOW she knows you.”

My heart sank.

Here we go again, more talk I said to myself.

I thought about it most of the day, not what was said or even who said it. I thought about its impact. How much power those six little words carried.

Don’t you hate those things you’d probably be better off not even knowing, but you just have to know anyway?

Why did I want to know what “who knew me” said? More importantly.. why did it matter?

The most important thing we need to realize about the past is that it’s over.

My mama tells me over and over, “Katie you have to stop living your life based on what people think.” She still tells me that.

I walk around with this fear that one of my bad days, my off days- someone will see the “Bible Girl” and I will misrepresent Jesus, that my attitude will move people away from Him. Since we cannot possibly share all of the good news with every single person we encounter, one of the biggest parts of your testimony is how you live your life.

Not how it was lived.

I love the gospels because it tells of the miracles of Jesus throughout His ministry here on Earth.

There is newness with Jesus; the person that didn’t get it all right has a funeral to go to. Its own. In John chapter 5, there’s a story about a man who had been “invalid” for 38 years.  When Jesus saw that he had been in this condition so long He asked the man, “Do you want to get well?”

The invalid man replied that he had no one to help him. He said, “every time I try someone else gets in my way.”

Jesus replied to the man, “Rise, get up and walk.”

Rise. To move from a lower position to a higher one.

Get up. Don’t do it sitting down. Literally get on your feet.

Walk. To move forward, even at a slow pace, setting one foot in front of the other usually with a destination.

Who the people of this town thought as an “invalid” Jesus saw as purpose.

Everyone that knew this man saw him after he encountered Jesus and they were amazed and then believed.

That is what is powerful.

Not what someone said.

Not what you wished you were.

Not what is over.

What is new. That’s where it counts.

This time last year I was making a scary transition into a new life fighting an old name. My “and walk” was more like a “and crawled” because I afraid of a different life.

I was scared of what people would say; what they would think; what friends I’d lose because Lord knows I already didn’t have many.

I laughed at God the first time He spoke to me, when I first received my call to ministry.

It’s even crazier looking back at it a year later, because God knew exactly what I needed to “rise.” He knew exactly what it took for me to move forward one foot in front of the other.

The best part of “and walk” is it’s pace. While it isn’t a bad idea to run towards the cross, if you’re that out of shape just take your time. Just walk. One little step at a time.. just move.

Don’t let what is already over stop you from something that is now, something that could be even better tomorrow.

It’s scary, but the higher your rise- the easier it gets.

Hugs,

Philippians 3:7-8: The Life I planned for; The Life I Didn’t get.

I’m one of those ‘have-to-have’ it all tucked away kind-of girls. I wish I weren’t; I hate that about myself, but I just am. I would bet I am one of the messiest organized people you have ever crossed paths with.

Starting an unexpected new season in my life, things have been a little more shaken up than normal and so have my nerves. I’ve looked through next month’s calendar 100 times, and will do it again.

Have any of y’all been just worn out by planning, twisting, forcing all the right pieces in what feels like a too small puzzle?

I had my life planned perfectly, even more calculated than the color coded blocks of my over-sized planner. I didn’t grow up the best. I never wanted for anything, but my home life certainly could have stood some major adjustments. Without details, I had planned a different life, something different than I had. I had this idea of what my perfect life would look like.

I would be married, cute house, cuter kids, lots of friends with also cute kids that would play on a well landscaped lawn on Saturdays when I had a day off from my perfect job. There would be a dog, okay two dogs, and basically always sunshine. Don’t ask me how the perfect grass got watered in this dream without rain because I haven’t thought that through.

“All things are full of exhaustion; a man can not complete it.  The eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the ear filled with hearing;  What has been is what will be and what has been done is what will be done….. and there is nothing new under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 1:8-9

I’m getting to the point, hang in there. Apply just a little context here, and we’re moving on.

Under the sun is a theme in this book of the bible, and has nothing to do with the weather. Under the sun means the world we can see; a materialistic world with no eternal perspective.

NOW, imagine me, sitting here, looking at this calendar book of mine with these colored up pages that represent little of what I had planned on.

In blue and red, I have marked my second husband’s work days. My first marriage failed. My new (because we just bought it) not new house needs unexpected repairs. While my kids are cute, they represent multiple colors on my book- all five of them, Dad’s house this day, mom’s house that one, a holiday here for this kid, oh and yay! Looks like we have them all for that one. Purple is the color of my daughter’s dance class.  Yellow is my step-daughters church program.

I have few friends in a not-so-new but certainly not home town, no baby play dates, and I feel like I have more jobs than I do socks right now. My dog is well… kind of perfect, but my lawn is full of leaves all from the storms that blow in when the sun hides.

Two completely different pictures, right?

But then there’s this:

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I counted everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ” Philippians 3:7-8

There was a time that I had what I wanted, what I had planned. I married a guy that gave me the parade proposal, had two beautiful children, built a home that even had good grass because, well, sod. All of my new town girls liked all my Instagram pictures and commented things on my Facebook posts, there was a potential for friendships and play dates. There was no dog, but there was more than that missing from the puzzle.

It was so sunny, y’all. I had that life under the sun and I was weary. Like the man in Ecclesiastes, I could not complete it, could not be satisfied. It was like I tried and tried to get this or do that and it was still so empty. And why? because it was so bright. It was a life full of things I could see for now, and one with none of the things I could feel forever.

Now I have absolutely no idea why the life I planned unraveled into the life I live in. I don’t. Maybe had I stepped out of a life in the sun and into the kingdom, things would have been different. That is not for me to say, but I know that girl with all of those big and bright plans was meant to be scorched by that heat that her own sun packed- and I am so so grateful she was burned down just as she was.

It’s one of those beauty from ashes kind-of thing. God often uses our brokenness to reveal His beauty.

And gosh is He beautiful, are His renovations beautiful.

You see, when I lost all of those things, I was left with the One person Ive always had but never knew. I came to Jesus because basically there was nothing else.

I would lose all over again, knowing what there was to gain in having nothing and everything all at the same time.

Paul said in Philippians 3 verses 7 and 8, look I count it all gone. I don’t even care. Everything else “under the sun” is garbage because EVERYTHING else is less when compared to the infinite value of Jesus.

Paul is right.

I love those red and navy dots. They provide for my family when they are present in those dated squares, and when they’re not that means I get to enjoy my husband wrapped up in bed with me if only for one night before the next red dot appears. I love all 100 of those little baby fingers and toes with every piece of me, together all at once or separate, on the holidays or not. My new-not new home will free up some time for me to pursue my passion for spreading the word and for that, me and my daughter danced in the rain that fell from my closet ceiling last week when it rained. I have very very few friends in my home-but-not home town, but they are literally some of the very best, and those leaves? I love them. Watching them fall to the ground, I am so full of hope because I know that, like me, those dead leaves will get a second chance and then a third and so on, to revive themselves when this season is over because with Jesus, you don’t run out of chances; you don’t run out of love.

Sunny days are beautiful. The things you can see are beautiful but trust me when I tell you with tears in my eyes that there is nothing absolutely nothing more precious than what you cannot see, but can always feel.

The question never concerns the presence of God. He is always there. The question is whether or not God matters.

The very biggest hugs,

Philippians 3:1-6: The Real Christian

“Furthermore, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.  Watch out for those dogs, those evil-doers, those mutilators of the flesh.  For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by His spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh- though I myself have reasons for such confidence.  If someone else has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more. circumcised on the eight day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, A Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee, as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.” Philippians 3:1-6

Trying not too get to historical, I want to quickly explain some history before we get to the meat of this. Paul is saying look, I’m reminding you because this is important. “Dogs” is a word the Jews would use for the gentiles.. Paul says be careful around these people..these evil doers. They think heaven is for the law abiding citizens and to get there.. if you’re not Jewish.. you first have to become a Jew before you can become a Christian. You have to be circumcised. Paul says this is mutilation. Skipping some words we will revisit, Paul said I’ll tell you why it’s wrong. If anybody has the right to think who they are and what they do will get you to heaven, it’s me guys. I am the circumcised stock of Israel. I’m family with the first king of Israel and I’m Hebrew. I was a Pharisee, the very best sect of people devoted to the law, an active fighter against Judaism, and by the law- I’m perfect. Now back to the middle.. even though who I am and what I do looks good by the books.. it means nothing.

The true circumcision is what we Christians are because we serve God by his spirit and not in our doings.

The real christian knows that external worship and good deeds that these people push in the church may be good things but they are not sanctifying things. Only through Jesus, because of Jesus, by Jesus in us, are we saved- not the things we do ourselves. As great as the law is, the new covenant says it’s nothing without faith.

The real christian rejoices in Christ, not in circumstances or situations but in the Lord. To abide in joy means you really believe God’s got this; He is in full control and that control is for your own good.. and we’re relieved that He’s in control because Lord knows we couldn’t do a good job on our own.

The real Christian has no confidence in the flesh. You don’t trust you to get you to heaven. Things aren’t good because you’ve been good. They’re good because JESUS is good and THAT’S a safe confidence to keep you warm at night.

Even after I was saved, after I had spent countless hours with Jesus, with His word, with Him in prayer, serving Him… there were times that I did not understand some things. Why am I having such a hard time? Why did you tell me to do this if you weren’t going to see it through? What happened to blessed is she who believed? Hello God, I believe… where’s my blessed. For a time I thought that kingdom work brought some kind of reward.. I was waiting and waiting and the package never showed up on my doorstep.

Blessings do not always come with bows.

The package did come… 2000 years ago.

God was testing my faith. Not for His knowledge, but for my own. I needed to see where I stood. Believing was the first step, but there was much more to do. I had to learn what it was like to be the real Christian, not the one that was dressed up in her new life with a mini ministry but the broken girl. The undressed, real, raw version.

There is boldness in broken. I had to learn confidence in Christ. I started looking for all of the things God was teaching me about myself as He pulled me through so many different seasons instead of asking Him why. I began to thank Him for new opportunities to trust Him differently as the color of those seasons changed. I learned to stand up in all my messy and just pour it all out there because even if it didn’t feel okay, it certainly was, because there is purpose in every single step, even those that throw you to the floor.

Y’all please please know that it is not who you are but what you are. It’s not what you’ve done or haven’t done, it’s what you do next, and it’s never what you do by yourself, but what He does with you that brings the bows.

Hugs and Tuesdays,